First Trimester- The Hormonal Mom

Yes my title says it all.. the hormonal mom!

I now have a new profound respect to all the moms out there..i don't know they can remain calm, composed and well energize in the first trimester. I do know that everyone have very different pregnancy experience but my oh my i thought i could handle mine well. HOW WRONG WAS I?

This is the time where everything got real... I had to stop teaching/training clients  and completely stopped doing any form of workout because i just do not have the energy. Mentally and Physically.

Before pregnancy, i always have this imagination that i would be this upbeat person due to my active lifestyle.. SECOND TIME WRONG! Little did i know, my first trimester .. i become someone i am not.

They said, working out makes you feel happy, energize and will have a positive outlook of life. Oh, this is soooo true before pregnancy ...so much so i thought it would stay throughout my first trimester! THIRD TIME WRONG!

Goodness me!

I struggled.. i really struggled! I struggle with not understanding what is happening with me. What is happening in me, why i am feeling the way i am and why i am acting the way i am.

From being super active, fun and bubbly person to someone who just want to sleep, tired and moody. I could not accept the fact that suddenly my body just do not want to cooperate with me. My head says get up and get moving but my heart says no..SLEEP and just SLEEP!

How i reacted to all of it?

I cried, i got angry, confused, demotivated, sensitive, lost and almost depressed. I was emotional..  the only person who can pacify me was my husband, he was my comfort/safety blanket and  yet at the same time he was also my emotional punching bag..poor husband. I would be so upset whenever he would come home late from work.. even if it's only 15mins.  At that time...15 mins was like FOREVER! This sudden feeling of  being so clingy is another new discovery i had to deal with! OH THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER...

HEAVING! 

Then comes the heaving every morning...OMG! That was one tough HIIT TRAINING! My abs and throat... BURNS! I can spend 5 mins squatting on the floor at toilet bowl yet nothing would come out of me!  I don't know if heaving is considered as morning sickness but gosh it's terrible! And if it is considered as morning sickness.. trust me.. it does not just happens in the morning..it happens at any time of the day and out of the blue! Sometimes i am so worried i might offend someone with my sudden "desire" to heave while walking pass them! Throughout my first trimester, i only vomited my guts out 3 times  but i think i prefer that then heaving! I find it less painful. :(

Food aversion:

I'm lucky, real lucky.. only Coffee, banana and steak. although this was something i would take everyday when i was super active,  and food that i am not a big fan of before pregnancy was the only food i wanna eat during my first trimester. CARBS! Carbs was my best friend.. morning, lunch and dinner.

I remember whenever i have my meal, my mother would look at me with amazement.. she would often tell me.. when i was conceiving your sister and brother,  i could not even eat as much as you...more often i would throw up or just not eat at all. But i am totally the opposite of my mom.. in fact i only gained 3 kg in my first 3 months! With that amount of carbs.. i am surprised i did not balloon up!

I'M COLONIZED WITH GROUP B STREPTOCOCCUS!! 

On top of all the hormonal changes and moodiness, i had swab test done and result came back that i am colonized with Group B streptococcus ( Strep B ) and Yeast infection,Gosh!!! I was miserable.. i was worried sick about my Strep B infection.. the last thing a first time mom want to hear is that you are infected with Strep B! Oh the stress of the unfamiliar bacteria and to know that there isn't much you can do except taking antibiotic ( 5 days course) and really hope and pray that by 35th week it will be gone ( that's when the second test will be taken) not very comforting.

What is Strep B?

Group B strep (GBS) is a kind of bacteria that many people harbor in their intestinal tracts. The bacteria may also inhabit (or "colonize") your vagina as well, and be passed on to your baby during labor and birth.

Approximately 10 to 30 percent of pregnant women carry GBS in the vagina or rectum or surrounding area. While GBS is generally harmless in healthy adults, it may cause stillbirth and serious infections in babies.

My heart dropped when i heard  STILLBIRTH word from the Doc!  

For more details- you can read more info of strep b here

I pray that by the 35th week.. i am clean from Strep B. 

I regretted taking loads of antibiotic. You see back in  2015 due to my first bronchitis attack, i was prescribes with tonnes of antibiotic by 2 different GP! I had good 3 weeks of antibiotic cycle! One of them gave me a very strong antibiotic and prescribed it to me wrongly..she overdosed me with antibiotic! I only found out about this when i went to my 3rd clinic and it was a CHILDREN CLINIC! The doc informed me that the last antibiotic prescribed to me was a very strong antibiotic which should be taken only once a day... but that previous Doc prescribed it to me 2x a day for good 7 days!! GENIUS! 

 Anyways, lesson learned, antibiotic will always be my last resort now. I rather not have them if it isn't necessary and according to the respiratory specialist i met today, ( yes, i am currently suffering my 2nd bronchitis attack) you can go without taking ANTIBIOTIC specially when it is treatable with just a simple symbicort puff and flumicol... 

Ahh life... You always learning and learned. So there you go peeps.. my first trimester story for you.

One thing for sure, i am super grateful to God that my husband is one understanding,patience and loving gentleman. With all the ups and downs and the drama he has to put up during my first trimester, i now realized having a supportive husband is VERY VERY IMPORTANT not only for both of us but also the development of our baby!

A man don't need to be a superhero to be a good husband, but just be as understanding, patience and loving as he can be to the wife no matter how tough it gets during pregnancy. Just remember, she will and is going through a lot during this period... creating a life and carrying a lil human inside is really one heck of a job!

Me at my 13th week journey 

The news - Our miracle

Dear Son,

When dad and mom got together, i told dad that i want to have children/s with him but i have my concern then..you see, mommy thought mommy could not conceived because during my first marriage conceiving was a never a success.... but your Dad being the most hopeful and positive man i have ever met said to me: you are one healthy woman, who exercise and eat right, you will and are able to conceived. Remember the most important thing is...we have each other, we love and respect one another.. if we are blessed to have a baby it would be our lil miracle and big huge blessing from God but if not, we have each other at the end of the day.

That's your dad son... a very calm, patience, kind, loving and responsible husband. We are lucky to have him!

Before the good came the not so happening news...

I did my first pregnancy test in end June.. mommy was so excited about this test because for some reason..i somehow was convince i am already pregnant. Some weird symptom was happening with me.. first symptom was the constant need to PEE! Told Dad about it... he told me... I might just have bladder infection! ( What a joy killer dad was!) Anyway,  i went to pharmacy and bought the most expensive pregnancy test kit ever just cause i was so convinced i am pregnant..hmmm

Before i took the test.. Only God knows how excited and nervous i was but it came out NEGATIVE! I was sad... and even more convince i could not conceived. I tried to be as positive as i could.. but sadness fills my heart to be honest and i guess dad saw the sign, understood it and said.. just relax..it will happen if it's meant to be.. i am strong and healthy man.. Nothing can stop my soldiers from doing it's job .. that thousand soldiers will find it's way.. you just wait and see!
(Don't worry son, you will produce these tiny soldiers yourself too!)

So days goes by and mommy continue living the life that i know, being healthy and fit. But for some reason, i kept getting this tingly feeling that i am pregnant. The one sign that really got me was while i was working out that one particular morning ...i suddenly felt sick, nausea and almost vomited and i had to slow down and go easy on my workout.

But because it was negative at first test.. i thought i was sick and again convinced that what dad said ( bladder infection) was real!

Anyway, I did not go to the doc to check the so called bladder infection..but instead i went and bought another pregnancy test kit (almost bought ovulation test kit as well).. this time.. i bought the guardian test kit! Thought to myself.. at least if it shows negative,  i would have not waste that much of money as a consolation from another sad news.. LOL!

IT'S POSITIVE! 

On 5th of July..i was bound to fly to Portland for Nike Global Master trainer training.. few hours before the flight.. i decided to take the test for the second time just to be sure of the test.

Son, it was the longest 5 minutes wait for me! And when the result came out... i was speechless and confused... i just could not believe the test result... It says POSITIVE! I mean how could that be when a week the test was negative and i was using the most reliable test kit in the market and on the box it even says i can find out the result as early as 10 days before my next period! And it clearly said NEGATIVE. . By then, i thought i was delusional and must be dreaming . I even thought to myself i'm just seeing double line because i so wanted to be pregnant!

I kept checking on the test kit and read the test kit instruction over and over again.. it took mommy nearly an hour to finally pick my handphone and text mommy's best friend, Aunty Cindy and when she said...OMG!! YOU ARE PREGNANT!! IT'S DOUBLE LINES! I said, are you sure?!


4:15pm on the way to airport...in the middle of highway.. 

I told dad the news and heard i said " You are dead!"

He was so confused and looked at me and said..Why did you say so??

I  got confused with his reaction and replied:  well i don't think this two lines says it's negative! ( showing him the test kit) It says we are pregnant, i am sure of it! You are gonna be a dad!

He pulled over to the emergency lane very quickly ( Thank goodness the highway wasn't busy) Dad was so excited and  LAUGHED OUT LOUD non stop for good 30 sec!!

Mommy's reaction: Confused!

When he finally stopped laughing, i asked is that a happy or nervous laughter?? Dad replied of cos i'm HAPPY.. this is what we wanted and we got it! I told you, you are healthy and my soldier will do it's job! We both laughed!

Now while writing this, you are 18 weeks coming into 19 weeks in my belly my love...a healthy 18/19 weeks baby boy!

You are our pride and joy. A testament of love,a miracle and a blessing from God.

This is your first picture at 6 weeks old in mom's belly! You are about the size of a LENTIL :D